Swashbuckling?

Tuesday, September 30, 2008
By Nicholas Fitzgerald

I’d say not. Apparently today’s pirates are nothing more than a bunch of Islamic terror criminals with boats. I say terror criminals because they’re not really terrorists, I think these guys are in it for the money. Still, I’m sure they would prefer to sell their booty to a terrorist organization or a terrorist supporting government than to someone else. Even at that though, I’m sure their first preference would be to get the ransom money from the companies or governments who own or operate the ships. Things have changed now. I think they’ve inadvertently bitten off more than they can chew.

Fist, they took a ship with a bunch of Russian tanks and related items like tank ammo. This stuff was on its way to Sudan. Not a good thing in either case. Now the tanks are in a position where they could either be sold, or given, to Islamic radicals in Somalia, or delivered to the original buyer, the radical Islamic government in Sudan. Neither of those possibilities is in any way acceptable.

Then, they took an Iranian ship that appears to have some materials on it that may very well be WMD of the chemical variety. Not withstanding the fact that some of the pirates seem to have managed to kill each other during Ramadan celebrations, I think they’ve got some leverage with this one. Because of the chemical situation we can’t just sink it, even if we do rescue the crew first, as the chemicals on board could cause all manner of problems. Even worse is the possibility of any of the aforementioned Islamic radical groups getting their hands on these chemicals. That would, of course, include the Iranians.

So here we have two ships, both seized by pirates, and both carrying cargo that can’t be allowed to fall into the hands of radicals including the radical governments they were initially intended for. An interesting quandary to say the least, but one that is not lacking in opportunity.

The tank ship should be sunk. It’s the only viable option. The problem with that right now is the presence of the crew on the ship, but that can be rectified. The bottom of the ocean is the appropriate place to store Russian weapons.

The problem with the chemical ship is a bit more complicated as we can’t just sink the thing straight out. We’ll have to burn it first. I think the application of napalm and/or thermite should do the job nicely. Once a good and thorough burning has taken place it should be sunk, preferably with the pirates still on board.

I think this problem with the pirates should be coming to a head by the end of next week. With any luck we’ll have gotten past this economic emergency and will be poised to jump on this story when it hits big. It’s entirely possible that this situation, and the response to it, could be the very thing that turns the tables on Barack Obama. McCain will respond to it strongly and rightly without even having to think much about it. He already knows how to handle such a thing. Obama will have someone write him a speach, and will come off as weak and ill-prepared to deal with it. Given the tensions all over the world the people will have to lean toward McCain.

Pirates. Gotta love ‘em, gotta kill ‘em.

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